Let’s grieve together.
Join me for a virtual community grief ritual.
My ongoing virtual community grief rituals are an opportunity for us all to have a shared space to grieve together. I offer an inter-cultural space where everyone is invited, as well as a less frequent affinity space for Black people.
Grieving the Theft of Innocence
a grief ritual on behalf of the children
Whether is it children victimized in global child sex trafficking rings, children massacred in genocides or forced to mine precious minerals at the threat of death, children forced to commit acts of violence, children being ripped away from their cultural contexts and colonized, teenagers being groomed and taken advantage of by adults, children being sexually violated in supposed safe spaces by adults they should be able to look to for safety, or children abused and neglected by their own caregivers—as a society we have failed to protect the ones most vulnerable. This is why we are in the situation of pervasive depravity we find ourselves in.
May we have the courage to look at this reality and allow it to break our hearts. This grief ritual is an invitation to locate ourselves in that heartbreak and allow it to be a catalyst towards creating a new way to be a society.
Read the full invitation to Grieving the Theft of Innocence below.
if you’re thinking about attending
Please only come if you can be relatively on time and plan to stay for the entire flow. The full duration is 2 hours and 30 minutes. Arriving 10-15 minutes late is okay.
Please allow yourself to slow down to meet this work. If possible, don’t make plans for directly before or after the grief ritual. Allow yourself to move spaciously through the remainder of your day to allow for deep after care, or for more grief to arise and be released.
Space is limited. Please register in advance.
suggestions for how to prepare
I invite you to do what resonates and be rooted in your own practice.
gather a large dish of salted water to grieve (direct your grief energetically, cry, spit, cough, yell) into
bring a lot of water to drink
wear lighter colored or earth toned clothing
set up your grieving space near an altar for your elevated ancestors or near a lit candle for them.
bring tissues or a handkerchief
bring grounding crystals
bring cleansing herbs to burn
bring a sound bowl, drum, bell, rattle, or other percussive instrument
bring a soft blanket for comfort or other comfort items
bring a pillow to yell into
situate yourself on the floor, or have some floor space accessible so you can move around
if possible and desirable, you can situate yourself outside on the earth and/or near moving water
if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me
If you would like to make a donation to support the attendance of grievers who are not able to pay, please do so here. Your support is much needed and greatly appreciated.
Children are an invisible oppressed class in societies across the world. They are not allowed to self-determine in any way, are vulnerable to abuse, and violence against them is normalized and largely legal and sanctioned. Children are considered to be property, denied the ability to participate in political processes, denied the ability to independently receive healthcare or other resources, and are often exploited for physical and sexual labor. The most vulnerable among us, an estimated 1 billion children aged 2-17 experienced physical, sexual, or emotional violence or neglect in 2022 (World Health Organization).
We all begin our lives as children and experience various levels of subtle to extreme disenfranchisement. However, many of us become adults who normalize the ways we were mistreated and dismissed as an acceptable part of the culture or an unfortunate past that we must move beyond without critical analysis about why it continues to occur generation after generation. Sadly, many adults go on to develop a disdain for children’s mere existence, weaving ourselves into the horrid tapestry that protects ideologies that erode collective care and shared responsibility for children (and everyone). Promoting the concept of being child-free, not liking children, or the eradication of children from communal spaces makes it easy to disconnect our feeling bodies from the realities of what happens to children when we decide that we are not all responsible for what happens to them.
Not only have we fed those most defenseless directly into the mouths of predators, war mongers, and exploitative entities with our indifference, but we have also abandoned the young selves we used to be who dreamed of a future of agency and choice—what have we done with it in their names?
So this grief ritual is for Hind. Samantha. Konerak. All survivors of child genital mutilation in all contexts. Congolese children forced to work as miners and face horrific treatment and conditions. Palestinian children facing unfathomable atrocities amidst ongoing genocide. Children forced to work anywhere. Children abandoned for being queer or trans or for no discernible reason at all. Children forced to find ways to feed and clothe their siblings. Children forced to be emotional care-takers of their parents. Black girls called fast because adult men sexualize them. Children groomed to think they are in consenting sexual relationships with predators. Children violated sexually who were too young to remember, but who hold it in their bodies nonetheless. The child in Gaza I once saw collecting bits of flesh into a plastic bag. The child selves of my mother and uncles violated before they could even understand what was happening. Those of my mother’s children who suffered the same fate including me. This is for all of the children.
Marian Wright Edelman said “investing in children is not a luxury or a choice. It's a necessity. If the foundation of your house is crumbling, you don't say you can't afford to fix it while you're building astronomically expensive fences to protect it from outside enemies. The issue is not are we going to pay — it's are we going to pay now, up front, or are we going to pay a whole lot more later on.” I think we are paying for our neglect now as we watch hostile systems crumbling all around us.